Intimacy

Viji opened her eyes and slowly looked at people around her. Her mom was sitting by her side and kept crying. Her dad was staring at what is happening around her. A nurse was changing the glucose bottle. Viji was quiet sure that she is in hospital, very much alive!

Her in-laws came rushing into the room. Her mother-in-law wept and kissed her on her forehead. Her father-in-law posed a caring smile. The doctor came in and made thorough examination. “Viji needs to be provided drips for next 2 days. She is too weak. No solid foods are permitted. Only liquid. She is doing better and nothing to worry about”, said the doctor.

No one in the room spoke out anything. But Viji noticed eye sign transactions.
“Rani and I are there to take care of Viji. You please don worry and leave. You have something else to do too”, said Ramanthan, Viji’s dad, to her in-laws, breaking the silence. Her in-laws did not say anything, but left the room.

Viji stayed in the hospital for two days. Her in-laws visited her frequently. Her friends and relatives conveyed get well soon wishes. Her parents were always there with her. But, Viji was highly worried. “He did not even bother to visit me, not even a call. How mean he is. I am surely gonna go away from him. Never I want to see him again in my life”, felt Viji.

Viji is a very orthodox girl. She is more humble and calm. She is a typical South Indian girl. She has beautiful eyes, long hair, fair complexion and looks very homely. She cooks well, sings well and is a master in rangoli. She did a UG course for namesake, though she is brilliant in her studies and is working as a teacher in a nearby school. Her family is a most orthodoxy bunch. So for them, a girl’s marriage is important than her education. But, Viji managed to do at least a UG course.

Once, she visited her cousin’s wedding with her parents. Vivek and his parents too attended the same wedding. Vivek is a charming, young guy. He is a Software Engineer, and works for an MNC. Vivek’s parents liked Viji and so they both got engaged within couple of weeks.

Vivek was very happy about this proposal. He liked Viji and was looking forward for the marriage. His love for Viji grew day by day and wanted to meet her. He started living in dreams. He wished for a date with her. His eagerness grew high and one fine day he rang to Viji’s house. Viji attended the call and the hero was overwhelmed. Viji was bit shy to talk with him. But she somehow managed. Vivek convinced Viji to get her mobile number and he got it too. In the following days, he started calling her frequently and started talking for hours.

It had been two months since their engagement and a month left for their marriage. Vivek was too zealous about a date with Viji. It was a pleasant weekend and he called up Viji.
“Hey dear Good Morning!”, said Vivek with a bubbly smile.
“Very Good Morning! Today is Saturday and how come you are very much awake at 8 in the morning?”, exclaimed Viji.
“Sleep belongs to my past. My present and future is only Viji.”
“Hmmm….really? You keep bluffing all the time…”
“Hey don’t you believe that I Love you?”
“Really? Do you?”
“Hey…”
“Ok ok. Cool it. I know much about my man.”
“That’s better. Ok, are you free today? What about a movie, restaurant, beach? What say?”
There wasn’t any reply from Viji. She kept quiet for a minute.
“Hey you there? Hello. Viji?”, said Vivek.
“Ya I am very much there.”
“Then why didn’t you reply? If you don’t like those places, we’ll go somewhere else. No issues for me.”
“I don’t like the very idea itself.”
“What? Hey I just want to spend sometime with you dear. Why don’t you understand me?”
“You know very well about my family right? They did not even like me talking with you for long hours. Do you ever think that they will let me go with you? Besides, I personally don’t like outing before marriage. Please understand.”
“I swear, I won’t swallow you.”
“Not that ya…. But, I won’t come. Let us chat over the phone. That would suffice.”
“I don’t want that. I want to meet you. That’s it”, said Vivek sternly.
There was a long pause.
“Look Viji. Never have I used to stay at home during weekends. It is only for past few months I am staying back sometime. That is too to talk with you. Try to understand dear. Please. Go get ready”, said Vivek in a calm voice.
“No ya. That is not possible. God’s sake don’t force me.”
“Hey you talk so nicely with me over the phone. But what stops you from outing with me?”
“Let us get married and go wherever you want.”
Vivek was bit restless. He was desperate about going on a date. Viji’s reasons did not convince them.
“Wassup dear? You don’t believe or trust me? When girls from my team had joined me for movies and hangouts, why don’t you? They are after all my team mates. But you gonna be my life. Don’t you believe me as much as those girls believe me?”
“Whatever it is, I won’t come. You go out with those girls and I am not game for it. Why don’t you…”
“Hey just stop it”, interrupted Vivek. “I don’t want to hear a word more. I have understood everything. Good bye!”, said Vivek harshly and disconnected the line.

Viji just smiled thinking how much kiddish Vivek is. There had been so many petty fights between them. This is just another one. Whenever there is any such misunderstanding, Vivek used to call back in an hour or two. But, it is six in the evening and there wasn’t any call from him. Viji felt something abnormal. She called up Vivek, but he did not attend the call. Whenever Vivek is in office, he would seldom attend calls. He is always a busy boy. At times he forgets the weekend and adds Saturdays and Sundays to his working days Calendar. Viji was sure that he is in office.

She did not receive any call next day too. She sent him hundreds of message and made thousands of calls. But no response. Instead, there was a call in the land line telephone. Her dad attended the call. Viji kept watching at him. His expressions grew worst minute by minute. He doesn’t seem to speak out. He was filled with anger and was highly tempered. He just sat at sofa and was breathing heavily. He beckoned Viji’s mom and asked for a glass of water. The place remained silent for longer time.

Viji was very worried. She knows well about her dad. She is the only child. But, she was not provided all grants and rights. Her dad is bit bad tempered person. He had even beaten Viji many times. He is highly soaked in tradition and superstition.

It was late in the evening. Vivek and his parents arrived to Viji’s house all of a sudden. Viji and her mom did not had any clue. But, Viji was highly happy to see her man. Ramanathan took a seat next to Vivek’s dad, Murthy.

“There is a small misunderstanding between our children. I thought it would be better to meet in person and talk about it”, said Murthy.
“But, let Vivek explain what had happened”, said Ramanathan.
Viji froze in shock. She was totally amazed to know what on earth is happening in front of her.
“Uncle, I don’t think this proposal will work out. Viji’s wavelength doesn’t suits mine. Basement of a good marriage is trust. But Viji never seems to believe me. She teases me with girls in my team in my office. I asked her to spend a day with me. If she had asked you for the permission and if you had rejected, then I wouldn’t have bothered. But, she gave me lame reasons and denied to meet me. Is this the amount of trust she possess for me? I don’t want any hitch or glitch pricking my marriage life. I have been very true to her. But, she did not even seem to bother me. Always she wants me to listen to her words. But she doesn’t have at least an ear to hear mine. Let’s break up uncle. Things don’t seem to work out. I am sorry about this engagement and marriage arrangements. But life is much more important. Kindly forget and forgive Uncle”, said Vivek. He was highly emotional too.

Viji could not digest the words of Vivek. He means her life. But, never had she thought that he would dump her. Her eyes were filled with water. She was totally collapsed.

“Cool it Vivek”, said Murthy, breaking the silence and continued, ”Well let us give a pause to all arrangements and postpone the marriage date. Lets our children get settled and composed”.
“There is no option for reconsideration. Enough means ENOUGH!”, said Vivek firmly and left. Vivek’s parents hardly had words to speak out and they left too.

Ramanathan turned terror and beaten her without humanism. He denied neither to talk with her nor even to look at her. Viji was highly depressed. She was unable to concentrate on her job. She lost all her happiness. She believed that Vivek would calm down and call her some day. But, her belief started dying.

She grew restless and spent most of her time in her favourite Amman temple. One fine day, she was sitting alone in a shadowy area in the temple and kept weeping. Vivek’s mother, Lakshmi happened to visit the temple and was shocked to see Viji in such a shattered state. She did not had guts to talk to her. But she felt pity for Viji and went to her.

“Viji”, called Lakshmi. Viji did not had strength to smile at her. Instead she started weeping more.
“Cool down dear. I can understand. Please don’t cry. You seem too tired and restless. Look things will happen only in the way they are defined by the god. Nobody can change it. Vivek is too arrogant and adamant about his decision. We are unable to convince him. You deserve a better guy dear. Please don’t worry”, consoled Lakshmi.
But, Viji kept weeping. Lakshmi had no words to console her.
“Aunty, I don understand when and where I did any mistake. Only mistake I am doing is still staying alive”, said Viji.
“No dear, don’t use such heavy words”.
“No aunty, my dad is not talking to me. Instead, he keeps scolding me all the time. He beats up my mom. My mom also lost hope on me. I have shattered their dreams. I have lost my parents. I have lost my life”.
“Everything is gonna be fine soon”.
“I have lost all my hope. What had happened was a mere misunderstanding. I donno how to fix all these issues. I have lost my parents. Thank you so much for what you people had done to me. I have lost my parents”, said Viji and kept crying.
Vivek’s mom did not had anything to do rather leaving the place.

Two weeks went by and Vivek’s parents suddenly arrived to Viji’s house. They had a big discussion with Viji’s parents. They explained that all that had happened were just another passing cloud. They insisted on Vivek – Viji’s marriage. But Ramanathan showed least interest. Still, Vivek’s parents were able to convince him and marriage date got rescheduled and finalized.

Viji was not happy but she was not sad either. She found her parents to be happy. Her dad started talking to her. There wasn’t much love from him, but Viji was happy that he calmed down at least to talk to her.

Marriage arrangements were going on vigorously. Viji agreed to all these arrangements only for the sake of her parents. She was unable to give up her anger towards Vivek. The very thought of Vivek embarrassed her. Her parents were her only world and she never expected her lover boy to shatter it into pieces. She could still hear Vivek’s words ‘Enough means enough’. She admired as how his parents convinced him for the marriage.

The day of her marriage arrived. Viji did not receive any calls from Vivek nor happen to meet him, since the marriage got rescheduled. She remained calm and was not thrilled to see him. He made a small smile at her. But she did not respond to that too. Instead she looked down and sat next to him. Marriage ceremony went well and she was very happy since because her parents were happy.

It has been 5 days since the marriage got over and Viji got almost accustomed with Vivek’s house. Vivek’s parents were happy, as she took care of them well and they believed that she is the most perfect daughter-in-law. But, she seldom spoke with Vivek. She responded to Vivek’s questions and rejected even to go with him to near by temple. It was her dad’s words that kept her away from Vivek.

“I have done my best as a Father. Please don’t create any fuss as you did before. Try to earn good name and win hearts of your in-laws. If you gonna come back to me with a big problem, like the one happened, then you can very well find me hanging in my room”, said Ramnathan to Viji when she got set to leave her house after marriage.

Viji had a strong feeling that it is because of Vivek that she had lost her parents. She could not feel any love for him any more. So she kept away from him.


Weeks passed by, months passed, but there was no intimacy, love or affection between Vivek and Viji. It has been 4 months since her marriage and Viji visited her parents only once. It was Ramanthan who threw knify words on her as he had a doubt whether Viji had brought any confusion with her.

The friction between Viji and Vivek became too obvious and Vivek parents were very much worried about this issue. But Viji had not let her parents know anything and according to them she is leading a most beautiful life with Vivek. Vivek started reaching home late night and seldom stays at home during weekends. He started shouting at his parents for no reason and stopped sharing a word Viji. He appeared very pale and lifeless. All his energy and enthusiasm became things of past. So Vivek’s parents decided to discuss this issue with him and Viji.

It was a sunny Sunday and Vivek was watching Titanic in T.V. So many thoughts were racing in his mind. He rewinded his own past and how drastically his happy – happy life had changed into a sorrowful one.

“Vivek we need to talk something with you”, said Murthy.
“Yes dad”
“One minute… Viji can you come here for a minute?”, called Murthy. Viji was busy in preparing lunch.
“Yes uncle”, said Viji and came out of the kitchen. Lakshmi just kept watching the happening.

“Vivek”, said Murthy and continued, “I understand that you and Viji are not happy with your marriage life. What happened to you both? ‘Forgive’ and ‘Forget’ are too important in a married life. Why both keep pondering over a small misunderstanding that happened ages before?”
“Dad”, said Vivek and continued, “I don’t want to talk about any such thing”.
“Stop it Vivek. How mean of you? How dare you dump a girl?”, said Lakshmi. She was emotional too.
“I am not a dragon to be cruel or mean”, said Vivek with high temper.
“Then what else? I had never seen Viji at least smiling for past 4 months. You were the reason behind what had happened. She was depressed because of you. You gave her hell lot of problems and still continue to do so”, yelled Lakshmi.
“Yes. I am the reason for everything. So what then?”, said Vivek and he sounded terror.
“Viji is a very good girl and she is a boon for you. If she had married someone else, she would have led a peaceful life. She had lost her whole life on marrying you”, said Murthy with full of anger.
There was long pause. Vivek eyes grew red. “In that case I am ready to issue a divorce. You yourself find a better guy for her and get her married off to that guy. I am least bothered”, said Vivek sternly and left the place.
Everybody stood froze. His very words shook Viji too.


There was hardly any conversation between the people in Vivek’s house. Nobody was able to digest Vivek’s words. In the following weekend, one Mr.Janarthanan visited Vivek. They were discussing for more than an hour and then he left. Murthy was curious to know what was happening and enquired Vivek. Vivek’s answer was yet another shock. Janarthanan happened to be a Lawyer in Family Court and Vivek discussed about the proceedings for divorce with him.

Lakshmi started crying and Murthy stood still in shock. Viji could do nothing but cry. Her dad’s thought added to her sorrow and his word, ’you can find me hanging’, echoed in her ears.

Lakshmi and Murthy kept scolding Vivek in every possible chance in the following week. But Vivek managed to keep quiet and did not respond. He made a final decision in his mind and was working on it. So these screams and yells did not disturb him.

It was a Friday evening, Vivek was bit early to home than usual. He went into his room and locked. He came out after couple of hours for dinner and went in again. Viji completed all her duties for the day and went into the bedroom. She was clueless to see her marriage photos scattered on the bed. She thought that Vivek would have required their marriage photo for divorce photo. She felt her heart to be too heavy. She lied in one corner of the room. She recollected her marriage and thought about her dad, who was very happy on that day. She saw only happiness on the day of her marriage. All such thoughts made her cry and she raced too many questions in her mind. ‘What will happen if she gets divorced? How will she face her dad? What if he really hangs himself?’

She woke up. It was almost half past 12 and Vivek was sound asleep. She went into the kitchen and with out giving a second thought, she swallowed a ‘Rat Killing Cake’. In five minutes, she lost her balance and started to vomit blood. She fainted and fell down with a thud. She became unconscious. It was Murthy, who was awakened by the thud sound. He came out of his room and was appalled to see Viji on the floor, with blood all around. She was then immediately rushed to hospital.

Viji opened her eyes and slowly looked at people around her. Her mom was sitting by her side and kept crying. Her dad was staring at what is happening around her. A nurse was changing the glucose bottle. Viji was quiet sure that she is in hospital, very much alive!

Her in-laws came rushing into the room. Her mother-in-law wept and kissed her on her forehead. Her father-in-law posed a caring smile. The doctor came in and made thorough examination. “Viji needs to be provided drips for next 2 days. She is too weak. No solid foods are permitted. Only liquid. She is doing better and nothing to worry about”, said the doctor.

No one in the room spoke out anything. But Viji noticed eye sign transactions.
“Rani and I are there to take care of Viji. You please don worry and leave. You have something else to do too”, said Ramanthan, Viji’s dad, to her in-laws, breaking the silence. Her in-laws did not say anything, but left the room.

Viji stayed in the hospital for two days. Her in-laws visited her frequently. Her friends and relatives conveyed get well soon wishes. Her parents were always there with her. But, Viji was highly worried. “He did not even bother to visit me, not even a call. How mean he is. I am surely gonna go away from him. Never I want to see him again in my life”, felt Viji.

Viji got discharged after a couple of days and was taken to her home by Ramanthan and Rani. It has been one week and she received calls only from Murthy and Lakshmi. Besides, she did not bother to ask about Vivek to them either.

One fine day, Vivek, Murthy and Lakshmi came to Viji’s house. But Viji disliked looking at Vivek and went inside her room. Ramanathan did not like Viji’s behaviour, but he kept quiet. Lakshmi went into Viji’s room and sat next to her on the bed. Viji was lying weeping on the bed.
“Viji, get up dear. Don cry dear”, said Lakshmi. But Viji kept crying.
“Viji”, called Vivek, standing near the door of her room.
Viji stopped crying for a second, turned and looked at him. She stared at him as if to burn him up and turned her face away from him.

Lakshmi left the room and Vivek came in and sat next to Viji.
“How are you Viji?”, asked Vivek.
“I don have luck to commit suicide even. I am very much alive”, said Viji filled with anger and watery eyes.
“Why did you do that Viji?”, asked Vivek.
Viji did not bother to reply.
“You don’t know how much your act had hurt me. You are too kiddish. You should have given a thought before doing so”, said Vivek. He was very pale, weak and lifeless.
“Say something Viji. Look…”
“I don’t want to hear anything from you. Better leave the place and according to you I am dead”, interrupted Viji and continued crying.
“Stop it Viji”, interrupted Ramanathan, breathing heavily.
“You don’t dare to speak a word to Vivek. You are a dumb to shatter your life into pieces by yourself. You don’t know about Vivek…”, said Ramanathan.
“Uncle please…”, interrupted Vivek.
“No Vivek. Its high time and I have to explain things to her”, said Ramnathan. Then he turned to Viji and continued, “Do you know how much he regretted for the fuss that happened before the marriage? Do you know how much he apologized to me personally? He used to call me at least once in a week to enquire my well being. You did not do that. I know everything that had happened, the plan of divorce too. It was Vivek who was much cared for you than me. He tried to console you on initial days. But you silly dumb just stuck to all that had happened before ages. I threatened you hoping that, you will understand him and lead a good life. But, you made his life miserable.”
Viji was perplexed.
Ramanathan continued, “I understand that it is your affection towards me made you to behave differently. But he loves and cares for you more than me. You know what? He understood that you are not happy with him and was much worried about your life than his life. So he decided to part away from you and he wished to find a good guy for you by himself. No man on earth could dare take such a decision. At least by now understand his love for you”, said Ramanathan full of emotion and tears.

He then turned towards Vivek and asked him, “Why did you tried to commit suicide then?”
The very question brought a shock to Viji. She tried to recollect the question, ‘Vivek – suicide?’ She looked into the eyes of Vivek. She was unable to comprehend anything.
“I am sorry for what had happened”, apologized Vivek.
“What had happened Vivek?”, cried Viji.
“I love you Viji. I admit it was me who planned for divorce and I planned so not for me, but for you. I always want my love to be happy. You are not just my love, but my life. I adore you. I always want you to have a happy life. But you disliked living with me. So I decided to part away from you. Still, I am not a saint to see my girl parting away from me and marrying some other guy. You are always mine. You will always be mine…. So only solution for this is to give up my life, so that you can very well marry another guy and I can very well sleep peacefully believing that you are my girl”, said Vivek. He was emotional and his eyes were watery.
“So he tried committing suicide on the same day, you made the attempt”, said Ramanthan to Viji.
Viji started crying heavily. She felt ashamed of herself. She did not speak anything but crying.
“He got admitted in the same hospital as yours and just got discharged. He had come all the way to see you and was concerned only about your act. He was almost dead and was unconscious for past 1 week. By god’s grace, he is alive. We have hidden all these things from you fearing that it might affect your health. I hope you have understood Vivek at least by now. He means a lot you than me dear”, said Ramanathan. He was calm and composed and it was highly unusual to see such a man speaking softly.

Viji moved closer to Vivek, fell on his lap and cried. Vivek lifted her face and kissed her on her forehead. Viji hugged him and understood that her love for him had not died but just got buried up.

Love can never die, it can only get buried up, but still it will remain alive!!!